Titanarum

What is with garden centres at the end of the year? Where have all the plants gone? One plant (see pic) did catch my eye but for all the wrong reasons: who’d bring back home an organism growing replacement testes? I’m not protesting on the grounds of prudery. Mine is an aesthetical objection. But enough of that abomination and back to the marketing ploy that exploits the average Christian’s westerner’s urge to splurge at xmas. Garden centres around the country could be mistaken for giant gift shops complete with cosy cafeteria, designer clothes, inside and outside lighting, toys for children and pets, scented candles, crockery etc etc. And a santa’s grotto covered with polystyrence fluff and plastic elves and gnomes and whatnots. A sign outside announces opening times so that parents and children can both experience the ultimate in pointless naffness. I’m no bah humbug. I’m a fuck humbug, me. Light a candle or a small fire, bring your loved ones round, cook a feast and make an effort to love one another at the darkest time of the year. Or be spiritual and think of death and resurrection or decomposition and new life. But please save me from santas and xmas cards containing nothing but a signature.