Titanarum

Found a pair of white g strings on a log in my local forest outside Richmond Park. I don’t know what to think. Often we find crumbled wank mags ejected at the wayside by drivers who use the parking area by the church up the road for self gratification. But not knickers. I didn’t stoop to look at the label so cannot say much about the social aspirations of the owner, nor about her size (hands up for assuming they belonged to a female). It could have been a non-sexual incident. A new to jogging female could have set out not wearing the right gear and decided to shed the bum scratching garment on the spot rather than forego a good work out. With a mixed population like ours (grand mansion owners, open, nearly rehabilitated prisoners, young working class families, middle aged middleclass house owners and vulnerable individuals in council flats), it is hard to draw any conclusions. Add to that the fact that the area is visited by thousands of people every month, many of whom are exercising, flying kites or visiting Pembrooke Lodge (a grand café near Richmond Gate) and the Isabella Plantation, a 200 year old secluded oasis complete with ducks, herons, rhododendron, camellia, azalea and green parrots. If anybody has lost a pair of white g strings do let me know and I’ll see what I can do.