Titanarum

About 6 weeks ago I spotted a fairly large spider scuttling along the skirting boards. The body was probably the size of a fat raisin and the circumference of the legs when still a fifty pence piece. I can’t pretend I felt warm or relaxed but when it disappeared under my bed I was quietly relieved. Why?

It’s a long story but here goes: Years ago when bizarre thoughts and actions were the order of the day I kept a spider in captivity. It was quite similar to the one I just described. The spider of old was kept in a pint glass and fed the odd fly. The glass was not exactly in the way but it wasn’t out of the way either. Sitting in my living room near the armchair I was always aware of it. Even when I wasn’t at home I was aware of it. I do not know why I kept it. I didn’t like it. I could have chucked it out of the window like I normally do.

But I decided to keep it. It didn’t like its cage. During the first few weeks it would jump against the glass trying to topple it. Even after having been fed a fly it would behave angrily. But gradually it seemed to grow more apathetic. I felt very guilty but I didn’t release it. I knew then how valuable and useful spiders are but I left it in that glass for weeks on end till eventually, one day, it had stopped living. I did wrong. And that is why, to pay penance, the spider under the bed is safe with me.